when you run a race, you need to focus. you need to win the battle between your mind and your body. if you are not having a leisurely run and you are running to beat a certain time –then you must focus. you cannot look around at all the trees and houses –you cannot look at the spectators –you cannot look and admire the other runners –you must stay focused, you must think only about the run, you must think only about the next mile, you must think only about the bridge, you must think only about the finish, you must think only about the beer at the end. if you want to push your hardest and if you want to make your best effort –you must focus. you must keep your head down and only see the goal at the end –no stopping –keep going –and this precise focus will deliver you to your goal. this is the same for work –keep your head down and keep your focus –then your goal will be reached.
every decision you make
is damn important. every decision you make now will inevitably be the answer to a question in the future –so make wise decisions. the key is to make sure that you like the answer and that is signifies a pattern of no regrets because many decisions only happen during certain times. for example –if you do not choose to get a family dog when the kids are young –then you miss out on that experience that you can only get when the kids are young –having your kids grow up with a dog. one day the question will come up from your kids –“how come we did not have a dog growing up?” the answer will not be the one you like –why didn’t you? make those decisions carefully so you do like the answers in the future.
dying young
what a pain in the ass. what a bitch. what a bastard. you are a good person –probably better than most –and nicer than most too. you don’t call people names and everyone likes you. you have a great family –better than most –always there supporting each other. everyone who hears your name –smiles –because they like you –no reason not to –you have been nothing but nice and supportive to them. you are a good person. you have a beautiful, young family –you have it all. then one day you wake up and none of this matters anymore. you have cancer and you are going to die. you are going to leave your young family –you are going to leave a huge void in the lives of everyone that knows you. your loss will change the lives of others –many for the worse. you won’t be there for your kids or your wife –they will have to learn to grow up without you. it is all a bunch of BS. why do you get screwed like this? you were the nicest guy –now you get screwed. life is not fair–we all know it –and most of it is luck. it’s all bullshit. you have this perfect family tree growing stronger with each generation –and then BOOM! –here is a big hole in the whole thing –everyone is screwed –especially the kids –what a bunch of BS–that is all i can say. what else is there to say?
be nicer
you know–i need to be nicer and i need to stop yelling at my kids all the time –well i don’t do it all the time–but in times of rushing around–i tend to bark at the kids –“sit down” – “eat your breakfast” –“stop fighting”. the trigger gets pulled all the time and i react the same way and now you can see that they are used to it –they are becoming immune to it on the outside–but it is probably doing damage on the inside. but we are a very vocal family –loud and yelling a bit here and there –we all do it a bit. so we need to chill out a bit –and i need to stop yelling so much on everyday frustrations that are really no big deal –i need to be nicer and i need to stop crying over spilt milk –because if i don’t –then the kids could be a bit mean and pushy when they get older –and i don’t want that.
frustration
it is frustrating when people in the family do not get along. but this obviously happens in every family and has happened forever –it is, inevitably, human nature to have conflict and conflicting feelings about one another –especially with the in-law thing. it is cliché and because it is cliché, it is expected. but even though it is expected, it is still very frustrating and oftentimes catches one off-guard –it was not expected. what was expected was that everyone would get along and live happily ever after. of course, not to be –but not realized until it comes out on to the table and is seen by all. but you adapt and move on –you must change your feelings a bit –you must still look to the good times of the past, but also to the changing times of the future –nothing is ever the same–and it is frustrating. the people you thought you knew all of your life suddenly reveal who they really are –as an individual –apart from the family –this is who they actually are –not the perfect image that has lived so long in the mind. but hopefully you can remake that image –but it is difficult because there are new players on the scene –which makes everything more complex. as we progress in life, like a play, the interaction becomes more complex due to new characters arriving and changing things –and this can cause original players to be put off –and not able to adapt –thus conflict ensues and causes frustration.
excuses
why do people give excuses before they even review the task ahead of them? i can’t stand it. this is the one thing in life that gets to my very core. what is this natural human instinct to give an excuse? i don’t understand it. here is the task, please go do it. but, we have to do this and this and this to achieve this task –and there is no way we can complete the task in the time alloted. okay, and your point is? do you just not want to do the task? is that what is driving this train of thought? why do you immediately go to the potential roadblocks? why don’t you look at in a positive light –that the completion of this task might help your progress? and then why do i get so upset with these type of answers? i tend to lose my cool a bit in these scenarios. i revert to my urge to say –“just do it!” how do i overcome these urges to bark back at excuses? this is a tricky road for me to travel as it could hinder my own advancement –by being very direct when I say –“stop the excuses and do the job” –some people can’t handle this approach and want to stick to the excuses –it is their nature and it is then up to the boss to learn how to manage these individuals in a different way–in a way that is not natural to the individual that just wants to get things done and not have to argue through each and every step of the process. maybe i will just never meld with these types of folks –the ones that look at the negative of everything–that this is too hard and why are we doing this. maybe these types of interactions will always occur and there is no way around them –I just need to learn how to approach them. excuses and people with excuses will always exist.
baker street
gerry rafferty died yesterday so i listen to this song again and it tells the story of life. you have dreams when you are young –put in your mind by tv, rockwell, parents, etc –you see the image and you want that life–you think it will come easy, you think you will make the big bucks easy and early –and this propels you forward –which is a good thing –but not a real thing. so you go to the city –the bright lights, the big dreams –and you have fun and you make some money –and you might get lucky here and there because you are working hard and it’s all about timing, good luck and hard work –some get the spark, some don’t. but it is never the dream you had because it does not come easy –and it takes much longer to get to that point where you think you have made it, but it is not the highest point yet –the point in your dreams –but then you realize that this is not the right dream –as you get married and have kids, you work harder, but it is ok not to reach that material high point –it becomes more about family and making sure they are happy and healthy –and the dream is about taking care of them –yes, in a material way–but more so in a growing, caring way –if they are ok, you are ok. great song–it tells it like it is –you just have to realize that dreams can be adjusted as time goes on.
hanging out with yourself
this just came to me! (actually yesterday) — we all like to hang out with the person we know best –right? and that person is someone just like you, right? they have the same interests, they like the same food and drink, they like the same sports teams, they wear the same type of clothes, they have the same manners and mannerisms, right? but who is this person? the answer is simple! these folks are your kids! think about it — you inadvertently create a little you just by showing them everything they need to know to get on in the world –like this food is great, but that food is no good, so we won’t ever cook it in the house –so most likely the kids will never eat it as well. you then root for your college team and want your kids to go to your college as well –and all they know from the start is rah rah go state! then you have great manners and push that on the kids as well –so everyone has the same manners. this goes on and on –so eventually you are older and you hang out with your kids all the time because you are just alike, because you created it that way –it’s natural and if you think about it — it is awesome that you can create friends that will stick with you for life –and they are just like you!
grab the moment
what does this mean? it means that you are supposed to take in the moment when you realize that you are having a moment. so this is what you try to do, right? you see yourself playing with your kids, so you hug them and squeeze them a bit more –to really feel the moment. you look at them and engage with them more. you might grab the camera or video and capture the moment –to be able to look back at this moment so that you can hold onto the moment a bit more in the future. but then the moment passes and you move on to a routine moment of each day –setting the table, having dinner, doing dishes, etc. these are not the moments you grab hold of. you then wait for the next big moment to arrive so you cab grab it and capture it again. this is truly trying to live in the moment –when you take it all in –whether on a cool trip or playing with the kids on a Saturday afternoon –these moments are so fleeting –much more so than the usual moments –you want to be in them all the time, but that is not possible –life goes on. it is exciting to recognize the moment –but it is sad to see them go so quickly. keep finding these moments and then string them all together to make your life so that when you look back you see nothing but exciting moments that you grabbed and tried to hold on to. really, this is all that we will have at the end.
this is it
we don’t look for “it” moments, but every once in a while you look around and say –“this is it”. it could be a variety of things that trigger this feeling –and the fact that you have a chance to experience this moment means that you have glimpsed into what we all strive for –what we all work for –what we all live for –to have these moments -because before you know it –life is over and then we say–“why did we live” –well–you live for these “it” moments. i had one last night –sitting by the fire, watching football, christmas tree all aglow, kids laughing, sipping some red wine, bing crosby singing “white christmas” sweetly in the background –this was my moment –this is what i lived for –this was perfect –what a feeling to sit there for a few moments and know that this was it –why we woke up, why we went to work, why we lived, why we never gave up –to have these moments. that is all i have to say –just waiting for the next moment to come upon me –hope you have yours too -because without them, there is no purpose.