we all know that life is a journey. we all know that we ultimately have to take this journey alone–in each of our own minds. this is something we cannot change. the one thing that we can change that will help our lonely journey along is how we act on the outside –what actions do we take? we take action to do the right thing and to provide peace of mind –to know that you have done all that you can do –and that you think it is the right thing to do. this theory is most important when we are talking about family. you must try your hardest to be there for family. you must do what it takes to be with your family in a time of need –when someone is sick or troubled. this will obviously help your family members in their trials –but it will help you even more. to know that you are there for your family in a time of need is one of the greatest feelings in the world. these times that you are there for your family will stand out like shining markers in the long journey of your life. you will know that you did what you needed to do and you will feel more inner peace. this is how you succeed in life–this is how you fulfill your life –this is how you prepare for the end –so that you are ready when your time comes. be there for family and you will know why you are here on earth.
Category: Family
don’t be sad when they grow up
one of the hardest things in life is to let go of your children and let them fly on their own. but this is the only way you will be happy and they will be happy. when another birthday passes and they get older and older, you have a feeling of sadness. that is ok, that is natural. but you must not wish to keep them young. this will only cause heartache. instead look at how much they have grown and how much your relationship has grown. it will continue to grow and you will learn to love them more and more each year. you do not really want to go back in time and re-live the years when they were young and you were younger. you already did that. now you will have more fun when they are older and you are older –you will experience more interesting experiences and will be able to become much closer to them. you will relish these moments more than the one’s in the past. the older they get, the closer you will become to them –remember this and you will not be sad anymore, you will understand and you will smile. enjoy the fact that they understand you more and you understand them more. this is one of the keys to a happier life. just live it and you will see.
the scare
we will all experience the scare at one point in our lives. this is the moment when you think a loved one could be in danger of dying. this falls along the lines of the cancer scare, which almost always is just that — a scare. it is never usually the real thing. your loved one goes through tests and there are days/weeks of worry. you pray each night extra hard for this person, especially if this person is your child. if it is your child, then you are in the darkest scare of all. you want to give your life for your child. you don’t want to think about life without your child. you think about how everything will fall apart if something happens to your child. there is no way you can go on with your life if something does happen to your child. in your prayers, you make big promises to give up things to save your child. through all of this, your mission in life becomes very clear. you see that it is your family that is most important and not all the superficial things in life –money, power, success, material objects. these matter nothing if a child is lost. so, you must learn from this scare, you must keep the clear thoughts that happened during the scare –at the front of your mind. you must move away from these things in life that do not matter at all. you must focus on the things that do matter, which is helping your family thrive, which is enjoying the moments you have with your family, which is showing your family how to see clearly too. you are lucky it was a scare this time. don’t waste anymore time before the next scare becomes real. learn from the important lesson of the scare.
short temper
why do people have a short temper? it happens to me all the time, especially with the kids. who do i think i am to get upset so quickly with my kids, with my co-workers, with my neighbors, with even my friends and my family. is it because this is a reflection of my own frustrations within my own expectations of my life? i should be happy. life is not bad at all. (knock-knock) and yet i still go off the handle for no big deal. i think this is a sign of my immaturity. i do try to remain calm, not blab so much. but i do get hyper and excited about things –mostly for good things happening. but then i snap in the negative too. i start to label people –see them as hypocrites –not practicing what they preach, etc. i should not judge so much. i should not think so much. i should not control so much. i should stop expecting so much from others. i should just be. this is a hard way to learn, especially if it goes against your own nature. it will come with age –that is why older folks are so mellow. they don’t see the point in going off the handle anymore –it only leads to negativity. the trick is to learn this before you get too old –so that you can benefit from your early evolution. so that you can leave a positive impression on the lives of the ones you care about. yes, evolve sooner.
forgiveness
it is very interesting how one comes about learning to forgive. i think our first instinct is not to forgive. you wronged me and i won’t forgive you. i gave you my trust and your threw it away. why should i forgive you if you did this to me. an eye for an eye is what we live by in our society. i am going to turn my back on you. i am going to forget all about you. you are dead to me. i will go on with my life without you. if it is not a true friend or family, then this is not a big deal to move on. but if it is a true friend or a family member, then you must seek the path of forgiveness. it is only during this exploration of what it means to forgive that you actually begin to become enlightened by the power of forgiveness. deep down we want to forgive and move forward. but our pride pushes against this concept of forgiveness. however when you realize that forgiveness is more about you –this is when a change occurs. look –as individuals we want to find comfort for ourselves. by forgiving you are finding comfort for yourself. it is true –forgiveness does free the soul. when you forgive, you free yourself from worrying about how you were wronged. you are free to move on and preserve the relationship. try it –it works. it is the only way you will lead an unburdened life.
loyalty
ah–this is key in life. you must be loyal to your true friends. you must go out of your way for your true friends. you must be there whenever they call. you must do things that require extra effort. these are the friends that you will keep for life. these are the friends that always have your back. these are the friends that know all your secrets. these are the friends that will never leave your side. these are the friends that don’t fight with you anymore. these are the friends that are your family too. always be there for them and they will always be there for you. it is an unwritten code. you are lucky to have them and they are lucky to have you. be loyal to these true friends and you will never be alone. do not judge them and always forgive them. do not hesitate to support them. just do it. guilt should not come into play. be rid of feeling guilty when doing something for a loyal friend. because these are your true friends and loyalty is the currency you carry.
stop yelling
stop yelling at the kids and stop yelling at your spouse. this will only create issues for you and your kids and your spouse throughout their lives. it does not get you anywhere. be calm and speak calmly in a heated situation –which most of the time is not even worth being heated. it is only heated because you started yelling. it is unfortunate that we do seem to have short fuses and we take it out on our loved ones because they are not doing what you want them to do. take a chill pill. everything does not revolve around you. life keeps us moving fast and we tend to react fast to even the smallest things. we want fast results, we want fast action. so we yell. and we think yelling will get the point out faster or make that person move faster. end result is no good. stop yelling. better yet –tell yourself to stop yelling before you do start to yell. thanks.
family first
this is a bitch of a topic! i mean– my first and only approach in this area is to always put family first in everything you do. which you should always do. plus, you should always never judge family and always take the high road when it comes to family. at the end of the day –all you will have left is family –whether that is good or bad–it is the simple fact. you do not want to cause conflict with your family and you need to bite your tongue with your family –after all this is your family. the same family that you grew up with or the same family that you raised. there was a time in the beginning where you looked on to your family members with eyes of adoration. you looked at your baby or you looked at your mother with complete eyes of loyalty and devotion. you looked at your brother or you looked at your sister with love and affection. you used to laugh with your family, you used have fun with your family –back in the times of innocence and fresh starts. you never thought those days would end, you never thought conflict would arise, you never thought people would change. but things do change and phases of life come and go –and conflict can occur in family. this is when this concept will be tested –this concept of “family first”. do you take the high road if you have been wronged by family? do you never judge your family when judgement is called into question? do you forgive every time? we will all be challenged by family member actions. what do you do? you want your sister to call you after a fight because you think it was her fault. this leads to a rift developing –one that might never be healed. but, don’t play this BS game–call her up –take the high road each time and stop the rift. make family first because it is the right thing to do –it will make you a better person in the long run. the long-time love bond of family is always there –but sometimes you forget. put family first unless a crime has been committed. in that case, this concept goes out the window. they then become strangers and are no longer family.
keep kids safe
you know –life is dangerous –very dangerous –and it is a miracle that we make it to adulthood. so, how do you keep your kids safe? well –you can’t look at every little thing –but you can look at 3 main areas. It is a simple approach, but you must be vigilant. 3 things to be paranoid about to keep your kids safe — watch out for cars, watch out for strangers and watch out for drowning. if you can be proactive in these 3 areas –chances are your kids will be safe overall. oh–and tell your kids about these 3 things all the time –keep them at the top of their mind. don’t freak them out, but make them very aware. yeah, i know it is simple and obvious –but it ain’t obvious unless you pay attention and let the kids know of these areas. get it?
off to school
it is sad, but you wanted the day to come –strange dichotomy. you want them to get out of your hair, but then you miss them in the same thought. when the last one goes off to elementary school, you enter a new phase in your life with your wife. you had at least one of them around most of the time, but now, after 7 years the freedom begins again. you get more things done, you start saving and making more money, you get better organized and the last 7 years seem like a blur raising them from cuddly babies to kids with a ‘tude. they still cling, but not as much, they still whine, but not as much, they still cuddle, but not as much –the relationship has shifted, but if you did indeed cherish all the key moments with them over the last 7 years –you should be ok. it is like anything –memories fade, life goes on and you live moment to moment –with new surprises and new things to look forward to. but deep down you miss them –and you miss their time growing up more than you miss your own childhood –you remember their childhood more than your own -crazy how that works. soon you will remember your grand-kids childhood more than your kid’s childhood –it is coming fast, but not so fast. take a picture of your kid biking off to school –it will help in the future.