where do they live? they live in the places you would never visit in your daily path. they live in small depressed office buildings, in lonely garages on dead end streets, in parts of the city where trash is not picked up, where trees are not trimmed. no one goes here except the people who have no other choice or who have made the choice to try something new – to take a chance – to take a risk for success. when you start at the bottom, it isn’t pretty and it doesn’t smell good – and the people do not smile. these people are all just wandering through life, hoping that they will reach the next level. these people linger in the parking lot smoking away – staring off into the distance. these people sit in their offices and make long deep sighs all day – they are not sad, they are not happy, they are just there – hanging on by a thread to keep the lights on at home. when you walk around the parking lot, you don’t look each other in the eye – you are all in the same miserable boat. your office is a small collection of rooms – empty most of the time or just a few people staring at their computer screens. there is a fridge but not much in it – there is no sink or kitchen – you have to pour out your water outside or in the bathroom. there is a microwave in another empty room in the building – it is small and dirty. the day is the same every day with the occasional surprise or victory – but they are small victories and the big victory takes a long time to achieve or never comes at all. you wonder how did you get here and why are you here. you have bet your life on this job in this very small company with not much money. you only have your hopes and your dreams and your will to keep going. you will not quit until the day they fire you. you are sure that day will come soon, but are still holding out hope that what you are doing might actually succeed. until then, you will keep coming to this place, you will keep trying, you will keep dreaming, you will keep hoping.
Author: xangst
10 deaths, 10 divorces
such is life, such are the odds and such are the individual destinies of us all. in the past 7 years, i have known 10 couples to divorce and 10 people that have died (in middle age or earlier). we all know that these things happen in life – and early on in life, we see these things happening from afar. but as you get older, as you hit the 40’s, 50’s – it comes crashing closer and closer to home. on the death front, you wonder why they went so early in life and you hold your dear ones closer – praying that you are not next and being more grateful for what you have in life – so stop complaining – you are not dead yet. on the divorce front – it is an even bigger shock sometimes. you see that perfect couple and divorce never even crosses your mind. but then one day you see the wife shoveling the snow or the husband not showing up at social events – and the signals start to mount. it is a shock to think that they went through all those years together, having kids, raising kids, building careers together, going through tough times – and then one day they quit the relationship – they fall out of love almost as quick as when they fell into it. this cannot be explained easily – why did this person wake up one day and say “I’m done”. most likely things were boiling under the surface for years – unknown to other person in the relationship and certainly unknown to the rest of the world. it is a tragedy that will affect many people in their world – especially the kids. and such is one of the big mysteries of life – one day we are happy and one day we are not.
the past
why do we always think about the past. why do we always think about the people we used to know. why do we question our actions of the past. why can’t we still be friends with people in our past. these are questions that go through everyone’s mind at one time or another. we think about what we did in the past. we think about the people we knew very well in the past. but those people are not there anymore. we think about the people we hurt in the past. we think about the people we helped in the past. we wonder why we can’t be there with them anymore. but we know why. it is because that is the way life goes. it doesn’t stop. when you are in that moment with that person in the past – which was the present – you don’t think about where you will be in the future or who you will be with in the future or what you will be doing in the future. you only think about the present in a very quick mindset – everything just goes and you just live – and you move on from people, places and things. but when you get older, you think about the past more and you have settled into a life that does not change much anymore – so you can see the future with clearer eyes – and you know what might happen in the future – as you get closer to the end of life – you know more and you know what to expect. but that past is always there, waiting for you to look at it and question it and wonder why or what could have been – but you are glad that you moved on because your present gut told you to – and your gut today still guides you so you can’t wish for the past because you told yourself to move forward – but you can still think about the past.
life & survival
in nature, everything is natural. what i mean is you don’t have to create an environment that doesn’t test your survival – it already exists, because it is nature – and that is what nature does – it makes you survive. that is also true in the developed world – the world that has developed outside of nature -the cities, the civilizations, the places where humans live without living in the natural world. they say it is a dog eat dog world – and that is true. every day we must wake up and go out into this developed world – and we must survive just like the animals do in the natural world. we must face challenges and we must get through those challenges alive – just like animals do in nature – animals must always be on the lookout for trouble, for challenges that will test their very survival. we must also do this in the human world. and this is a good thing – to be tested and challenged every day – to keep us fighting to survive and thrive. this is what keeps us alive physically, mentally and spiritually. the world we have created must continue to challenge us so that we stay alive – in every way. that is why i have always said that we need the struggle of life, that we need the challenge of life. even though we curse life sometimes and the troubles we face – it is actually the essence of life – the essence that keeps us going. for most of us – we don’t have to worry about this essence ever going away – we will continue to be challenged – especially in the financial area. but if we do reach complete financial freedom – we must then make ourselves be challenged – we must find another struggle to fight – otherwise life will fade away and you will no longer be “alive”. the animals in the natural world don’t have to worry about this – their survival is at the base level – live or die. because our world is more complicated, we have to make sure we are challenged to stay “alive”.
dog days
not every day is great, as you know. they say treat every day as if it is your last – which means live each day to the fullest. but you and i know in the real world, that this idea is sometimes not possible. as you sit in your cube in the office trying to focus on your work, you can’t really live that day to the fullest. yes, you can live that day the best you can in the current circumstances of that day. but it won’t feel like you are giving that day your best effort to live it to the fullest, because you are chained to a desk doing mundane tasks. these are the dog days of life. these are the days you are just trying to get through without losing your patience. you must be very, very patient on these days. the job you are doing should be exciting most of the time, but even the greatest jobs have dog days. how do we make it through these days? the only way to make it through is to pretend like you are running a marathon – where there are certain points of the race when it is very difficult to focus and push through – but you must do it to complete your current race – to complete your current goals. you must keep your head down and just do the work on these dog days. don’t stop, because you simply cannot afford to stop. for all the great days, there are always dog days – and on those days, you must persevere. you will feel better at the end of the week, month, year that you did push through – but it is hard to comprehend that idea when you are in the thick of the dog days. push through.
destiny & instinct
we are all on a path of destiny – there is no doubt about that. we will be guided along this path as we go through life. one thing that will help influence this process is your instinct. as you walk down your path of destiny, your instinct or gut will give you pointers along the way. some will never heed these pointers and their path of destiny could be a bumpy road. but if you do learn to listen to your instinct, your path of destiny can be a better process. your path of destiny will bring you close to failure or death many times through life – and it is your instinct that keeps you just out of reach of extreme failure or death – if you take heed and listen to your instinct. there are times where your instinct will give you hints on the same subject over and over – to get your attention to make the right choice – to make your path of destiny easier. look for repeated signals – and if you see them, then you know that this is the right choice to make in an opportunity that is presented. yes, we are all essentially walking blind on our path – and the way ahead will never be in clear focus. but if you trust that you are on a path of destiny and you start to listen to your instinct a little more, then your daily worry can start to fade. once you reach this understanding about what you are doing in life and why you are doing these things – because you are on a path of destiny and your instinct is there to guide you on this path – then life becomes more enjoyable and your path of destiny becomes more obvious.
trust
trust is a funny thing. you start off life trusting everything and everyone – trust all around. then as time goes on, you start to drop people off the trust list and eventually end up not trusting many people – maybe family and a few friends. and when you are at work in a new job, you start with a zero trust level – but as time goes on in the job, they begin to trust you and you begin to trust them. yet the reality at work is not really about trust in the end – if you can’t produce, no matter how much they trust you, you get the ax anyway. but trust is important to keep your job until the ax day comes – because if they don’t trust you, then you get the ax much earlier. everyone has their guard up when they meet you because everyone has been burned in the past – so we all live with walls around us to protect us from getting hurt or falling into trouble – it is a natural reaction to life. what we must try to do is give more people the benefit of the doubt – but only do it in small increments – set up small strategic tests to determine if the trust level can go up – then you will reach the highest level of trust without any issues – but most will screw you in the end anyway 🙂
do you feel it
walk outside and look into the sky – look at where you are at that place at that time – do you feel it? do you feel like you belong right there in that spot, in that city, in that town, in that state, in that country, in that place? do you feel like this is where you should be and where you feel the most comfortable – not the job, but the place where you live. does it feel like the place where you will take permanent root – where you grow old, where you are happy inside. you have been to many places, you have met many people, you have experienced joy and pain – love and hardship – stress and relief – you have lived here and there – but now you look into that sky and you say “yes” this is where i belong. you feel the heat or cold on your body and it reminds you of where you came from and what you are deep in your soul. you know that this is where you belong, that wandering around looking for something is not the answer because you have found where you belong. time is short and we can’t take it with us – so just soak it in and feel where you belong – your senses and your memories will work together to guide you to choose the right piece of the puzzle for this part of life.
“good morning”
you know – i never got into the groove of saying good morning – i didn’t get the concept behind it – and just would say – “hey, what’s going on” instead – which would confuse some people who took it literally. i then realized that we need to say “good morning” when we see people in the morning – and not because we mean to tell them – ” i hope you have a great day!” – which we do kinda mean – but the real reason we should say it is to say to yourself – hey- you made it another day – you lived to see your loved ones another day – you lived to see the sun rise another day – you lived to have breakfast another day – you lived to have that glorious cup of coffee another day – you lived to smile another day – to laugh another day – to love another day. it is because of all this that it is a good morning regardless of what else is going on in your life – it is a good morning to be alive for another moment of another day. by saying “good morning” – it helps you say this to yourself – congrats – you are alive and it is a good morning if only for that one fact – which is the key fact of all. so now i am going to say this to people…for my sake… and for them too.
don’t sweat it
i am starting to learn that you can’t sweat most stuff in life. you can spend all of your time worrying about everything. you can worry about your job, your family, your friends, money, bills, making people happy, etc. but in the end all of this worrying does not matter. you can only do what you can do in life. yes, you can give 110% effort every day. yes, you can keep trying new ways to reach your goals. yes, you can never quit and never give up. you can do all of these things and you will do all of these things – because what else are you going to do – you don’t have a choice – and that is the great thing about life. by doing what you know is the right thing to do and by putting in maximum effort at whatever you do – then you don’t have to worry so much – because you will survive by doing these things and you will move forward – it is inevitable. but, will you succeed at everything you do when you put in maximum effort – no, you will not. if you know this to be true, then don’t worry all the time and don’t sweat it. you can get right back up and go after a new project/goal – and eventually, you will succeed – by sheer force of your efforts and your persistence – it is inevitable. so stay the course always, don’t worry and don’t sweat it.