this is a struggle we all go through in life. our natural instinct is to say yes to everything because we don’t want to disappoint anyone – especially friends, family. so when asked to do things or go somewhere – we say yes, yes, yes. when you are young – it is ok to say yes because you don’t want to miss anything and you want to fit in. but be cautious that you do not go too far down the peer pressure path and do things that could be dangerous. as you get older, you still look to please – so you still say yes – but then you start to think that you don’t really want to do this or that – but you feel that if you say no, you might lose ground with that person and eventually harm the relationship. however, you also start to realize that life is way too short to say yes to everything – and that time is running out – and that you need to start picking and choosing what you will do and who you will do it with – you want the choices to be based on this idea – do what YOU want to do – don’t say yes to please people. so it is ok to say no – because you have to live for you and not anyone else. if a person is offended because you said no, then they are not a true friend – and will not be there at the end of the day anyway. it is ok to say no – and once you start saying no, then you will feel liberated – and it will become easier to say no more and more. this applies mostly to friends and not family. family is another animal – you need to do things even if you don’t want to – it is your family obligation and duty.
Author: xangst
manners
are everything. they are the foundation of human interaction. to have good manners is to be already ahead of the pack. you must say thank you and you must say please. you must be courteous and grateful. you must be self-deprecating and you must be humble and you must be patient -and you must try to listen to others when they speak and you must ask questions to show your interest in others. you must know the proper table manners and you must know the proper conversation manners. you must not curse too much – but a little at the right time is ok. you can get very far on just manners alone. but the best way to get these manners is from your parents. if they know what manners are all about and they enforce them over and over – then you will be good. if you don’t learn manners from your parents, then you must first know that your manners are bad and then must do something about it. self-awareness is key if you are behind in the manners area. some people do get through life well without manners. they push their way through life and people with manners sometimes step aside to let these bulls push through life – and oftentimes these bulls go far and reach great heights – and having manners have nothing to do with their success or station in life. but, they know deep inside because they were never taught manners by their parents, they must just take what they can in life – they have no choice. but if you are fortunate to have been taught manners in life, then you must pass the manners process down to the next generation so that civilized people can continue to inhabit the earth – so that we do not become a society run by bulls. you will be even more ready to say good-bye if you know that you did it with class and left no door unopened and no thank left unsaid.
live near family
this is one of the keys to life. you must live near some family. make sacrifices to live near family. we are on this earth for a short period of time and as you go through life, you quickly realize that it is family that will stick by you through everything. yes you have friends and they are good to have – they provide another form of balance – but at the end of the day – you need that family – and you need that family nearby. why nearby? so you can experience life with them – so that you can have their support through the big things and the little things. family enhances life, family makes life better, family gives you a reason to keep pushing on. if all of your family is dead, then you shift this concept to friends. but if you have some close family members still alive – pack up and move close to them now. life is about living in the now while people are still alive – you need to live near them and you need to create memories – otherwise what is the point of living if not with your family nearby. you might not get along with your family – still not an excuse to not live near them. why- because if you have kids – it is good for them to live near your family – they need to grow up with some family around. what is the point of living far away from your family – making more money? not a good enough reason. you could be laid off or drop dead tomorrow – where did more money get you? nowhere – because you have no family nearby to help you through the hard times. get a grip and go live near family – otherwise you will regret it. way back when – you were young and you loved your family. because you are older now – does not change that one bit. don’t judge – just love. start packing.
mistakes happen
we all make mistakes – we know that. we might say or do something in the spur of the moment that we could regret later. we might have made the wrong decision when a friend asked us to do something – and you feel like you didn’t come through for that friend – you let them down by the choice you made. but at the moment your gut told you to do what you did – you went with instinct – so in effect you were not wrong – but in the process you let someone down. from that point the only thing you can do is tell your friend that you didn’t mean to let them down – you just went with your gut and maybe you made a mistake. you have to move on and let the chips fall where they may. if it is a true friend, then all will be good. if not, then that is the way it goes because if you were to do it all over again, you would rely on your gut and make the same decision. this is life and mistakes happen – all we can do it accept what happened – try to repair any problems that came from it – and move on. do not dwell – this was supposed to happen and you are meant to move on. you are who you are and you can only try to make the right choice in the future – but when you make that choice, you will always make the choice that is in your favor – it is human nature – you can’t go against your instinct when making decisions because if you do – you will not be you anymore – you will be what others want you to be – and in the end we are alone in this world and we have to stick up for ourselves and what we believe is the right thing to do.
keeping someone safe
one of the biggest fears in life is keeping your loved ones safe. it is different than keeping yourself safe. you do keep yourself safe by taking the necessary precautions, but you do not worry all the time about keeping yourself safe – as you have some control over that worry. the one area where you have less control is when you want to keep your loved ones safe. this is a big worry because you have little or no control, depending on the age of the loved one. if it is your own children, you can do a good job of keeping them safe when they are young, but you still need to make sure they make the right choices when you are not around – cars, strangers, water, etc. you have control, but obviously not complete control, so there is a hidden worry in your mind. as your children grow older, you have less control in keeping them safe – so the worry grows and grows. you can only rely on others keeping them safe when you are not around and you can only rely on your loved ones keeping themselves safe – like we all try to keep ourselves safe. so the only way to help keep them safe is to teach them how to be safe from a young age. don’t freak them out with too many scary scenarios that could happen, but help them understand the safe way to go about life. yes, they will take risks when they are young, like we all do, – and those we can’t prevent entirely, but perhaps we can guide them to be less risky when taking action that could affect their safety – these are bodily harm risks, not the type of risks you need to take to reach your goals. so teach them carefully and properly – and hope no harm will come – it is the only thing you can do
friends will come and go
and most of the time there is nothing you can do about it. once in awhile your mind will drift back to the friends you used to have. you will wonder what happened with that friendship – why are you not friends anymore. it is hard to pinpoint what exactly happened. most dissolve due to inactivity over time – you lost touch as you went down different paths. we can say this is the natural flow of life – you have certain types of friends in certain times of your life. sometimes these friendships are not meant to move from one phase to the next. that is ok – and you accept the fact that you are not close friends anymore – that you might not ever see or talk to that person again. and the friends that do stand the test of time are the ones you naturally connect with – that think more like you, that want to keep the friendship going, that work to keep it going, that are your loyal friends through thick and thin. you are lucky to have these type of friends – they are part of your world, they are like family. but there are always the friends that you used to have that you wonder why you are still not close – is it something that you did or is it something that they did. you can’t try to pinpoint why – all you can do is accept it and move on. it is not your fault – it is life. you may re-connect and if you do, then you know it was meant to be a friendship for the ages, you can try and reach out but if they do not reach back, then you know. you cannot force these things – everything happens because it is supposed to happen or not happen. you must continue on and you must not dwell on it. do not feel guilty, do not feel like you did something wrong. this process will always continue – even with the new friends you meet – some will go and some will stay. stop trying to figure it out and stop beating yourself up about it – everything is the way it is supposed to be.
why must we go on
we must go on because it is in our nature. it is in our nature to never give up, to fight to the finish, to give it all we got, to push through the hard times, to put up with things we don’t want to put up with, to work with people we really don’t want to work with, to see it through the end. we have to bite our tongues, we have to learn to cope, we have to block it out, we have to smile when we don’t want to, we have to adapt to our surroundings, we have to keep doing what we are supposed to do, we have to just do it. when you want to quit, when you want to walk out, when you want to give up, when you have had enough – you have to stop yourself and just go on and on and on. just keep doing what you are doing and good things will come or you will know when it is time to move on – when you have gone on enough. but for now, keep pushing on, keep going on, keep doing it. you never know, all your hard work could pay off or it might not. there is only one way to find out and that is to keep going on.
look in the mirror
before you are about to do something, go look in the mirror. go find a bathroom and look in the mirror. when you look in the mirror, look deeper into your eye and look into your soul. there you will find the courage to do what you have to do in this world to stay alive, get ahead, push further, pass the test, create success, be confident. look in the mirror and be confident of yourself.
put it all on the table
don’t pussy-foot around when it comes to your life. put it all on the table. don’t fool yourself into thinking all is going well when it is not. put it all on the table. your job is not going well – you know it and your boss knows it. don’t hide from this fact. go to your boss and tell him how you feel. tell him you know that things are not going according to plan. tell him that we don’t want to waste each other’s time – that life is too short for that and that time & money should not be wasted. put a deadline down to either turn things around or move on. this is putting it all on the table. this is listening to your gut telling you enough is enough – make it happen or move on. move on to something that will work. life is not cookie cutter and you must progress and survive any way you know how. taking the risky job was a statement to yourself that you will take risks and you will go for those opportunities – but it is also a risk to put it on the table and to leave the risky job for the unknown. these are the times where you will be challenged the most. you have done this and you have done that – but you must keep going, you must keep taking the risks to get ahead – to have peace of mind in life – to wake up and breath a sigh of relief – that is what you are striving towards – so put it all on the table and keep doing so until that day of relief comes. and when it does – start all over again.
writing on the wall
you work until the writing is on the wall. that is how you go about your business. do not panic. do not hesitate. do not fret. do not 2nd guess. do not try to assume. just keep working with your head down and wait for things to tick up or until you see the writing on the wall. you need to remain calm throughout this process. don’t stay too long, but don’t leave too soon. take the emotion out of the work. don’t get spooked by the behaviors of others. just keep plugging along, doing the best that you can do, doing the best that you know how to do. don’t take your foot off the gas because you are in fear – that would be a mistake. this is a test to see how long you can keep going regardless of the actions of others. you will know when the time has come. you will know when the writing is on the wall. you can take action then and you can prepare for that action when the first signs appear. this is a good policy to follow. it will keep you from making rash decisions. if you wait until you start to see the writing, then you will always be on the right path. don’t let them take your work ethic, your pride, your dignity, your upbringing away – always maintain your demeanor and always be true to yourself.