look – we are all human. so we feel and think the same in many ways – whether in bangkok or toledo. and one of things that we all dislike to a certain extent is monday or the first day of the work week in your country. and if it is not monday for you – it is at least one day of the week. it is that day of the week where you feel blah and you just want to get through it – no matter how busy or bored you are during that day. you doubt yourself on that day more than any other day – and when you wake up the next day – you feel completely different – like you are ready for anything – you are confident and ready to go. but on that “bad” day – you might have negative thoughts or thoughts of hopelessness – and you want to avoid everyone until you are in a better mood the next day. how do you get through it. first -acknowledge that this is not your best day. 2nd – don’t make any big decisions on this day. 3rd – avoid conflict. 4th – think of what you will accomplish the next day. 5th – think about the end of the day and the things you will do as you wind down this day – getting closer to the next day so starting to feel better. ultimately you will have to go through these days over and over in life so you need a plan to get through them without any major problems. and you can’t avoid this day by not going to work, etc. – because the next day will then be the monday. you must start the monday like a normal monday – but you can then change it later in the day to make it better. so start the day as usual to check the box and feel the monday emotions and then start to shift out of the blues as the day progresses – following the 5 steps. some things are inevitable in life and we have to endure – so recognize it, endure it and move on.
Author: xangst
work dance
i know sometimes you want to just get up from your desk at work and walk right out – and never come back – and yell at the boss before you leave. this thought has crossed the mind of every person in the world at some point in their lives. it is human nature to get mad at someone and then want to immediately tell that person to “piss off”. however we can’t do this and we all know why. because it begins a domino effect in your life that could lead your life down a negative path. you have to bite your tongue when these times arrive at your workplace – you have to keep your cool – you have to carry on with your emotions in check. you have to do this to survive. but the boss has to do this too. the boss has to keep his/her cool to keep the employees happy. they too are under the same pressure to not lose their cool – to not yell at the employee. the boss has a lot to lose as well – that could also become a domino effect causing their business to go down or fail. so you see it is a delicate dance between employee and boss. each side needs to think about what the other side has to bear as well – to keep things going. it is a double edge sword, so think about that next time you are ready to do something rash – there is pressure on both sides to keep the peace
time for failure
we hear about failure all the time. we hear that you will fail at some point in your life. we hear that failure is good for you. we hear that you need to fail to get ahead – reach your goals – to ultimately succeed. what a bunch of BS. why do we want to fail. why do we have to fail. why do we embrace failure. because we don’t have a choice. failure is human nature. we must fail. we will fail. if we know we are going to fail at some time, what do we do? do we look for failure? do we search for failure? no. what we do is recognize that there is a time for failure and we simply keep an eye out for it. one day you will wake up and you will know that failure is near. if this is true, then you need to prepare for failure. you need to accept failure. you need to embrace failure. you need to complete the failure. you need to finish the failure and move on. you can’t let failure linger. you must move quickly. you must fail quickly. you must recognize failure and you must act on that failure. it is time for you to fail. so go ahead and fail. don’t delay failure. be brave and fail so that you can move on and succeed.
new achievements
a funny thing happened on the way to my death – i discovered new things to do and i discovered new achievements and i discovered new feelings of satisfaction. wow, life is certainly full of surprises – and we all start to know that fact as we grow older. but, we also start to think that we should never be surprised by anything – as we see more and more things happen that we were not expecting. from the world view, this is true – we see triumph and tragedy every day in different ways – so we become used to the unexpected. but, on a personal level, in our own lives, we can still be amazed, wowed and excited. we all get into our daily routines, our daily interactions, our daily exercises, the sports we are used to playing, doing, etc. – and we don’t think about trying something new – we are content in our routines. but on a rare occasion we try a new sport or a sport we used to play as a kid. one thing leads to another and we find ourselves on a team for this sport – mostly for the camaraderie, the friendship aspect. and this provides some new experiences, some new connections. but then we find ourselves in a competitive game and we find ourselves digging deep to compete and possibly win this game – with our teammates – and when we do win a tight game – with a renewed effort, a renewed vigor – we feel a new type of satisfaction that we have not felt in awhile – it is a rush – it is a thrill – it is something we were not expecting and it makes life richer and fuller – and it reminds us why we are on this earth – to live! so if you feel something or someone pulling you in a new direction to get involved in something new, something renewed, something positive – say yes once in awhile – you might be surprised that there is something beyond the routine – that there are moments of exhilaration that you don’t want to miss out on.
lesson learned
every experience brings a lesson. that lesson can slowly creep into your mind or it might come in a flash. the key is to know the lesson learned. when you wake up one day and say i know the lesson i am suppose to learn from this experience – then all is good. you then know why you were put in this job or put in this situation – to learn this lesson. and once you have learned that lesson, your time has been well spent – even if the experience did not end in success. this experience was never going to end in the traditional definition of success. but in reality, you did succeed because a lesson was placed there for you to discover and learn from – and if you did discover that lesson and you did learn from that lesson – then you have accomplished your mission for the experience, event, job, etc. you can then take what you learned from that lesson and apply it to real life – to ultimately make you a better person – to make you understand yourself even more – to understand how to survive and thrive in this world – to help you interact with others in a better way. if you fail at something, then you were meant to fail – and the main goal was not failure or success – but did you learn the key lesson. don’t leave the failure behind until you have learned the key lesson and are ready to apply what you learned. only then will you realize that every experience has a meaning – and that understanding that meaning is the key to a happy and fulfilled life.
focus on your value
don’t focus on trying to do all the jobs. focus on the value you bring to the process. don’t get jealous of others coming in and taking over other areas of the value chain. be happy that they are contributing to the overall goal – their presence should not affect you – keep calm, keep your cool. don’t let it defeat you, don’t let it get to you – this is a big test in your life – do not quit – keep pushing and learn from this new challenge. do your job and leave the emotion out. remember, this is a marathon – don’t make rash decisions – don’t panic. you must control your emotions. you must keep working. keep your head down and let the actions speak for you. it is not always going to be how you want it – there will always be things you have to do that you don’t want to do. just do them and do them at the highest level. you will be judged by the work you do in your area – and the ultimate end result of that work. the longer you work at it and don’t quit – the better chance you have to reach the goal – but it won’t be easy. this could be the time that you finally have to do things you don’t want to do and work with people you don’t want to work with – this is the ultimate challenge. can you do this day after day without giving up. this is the ultimate question. if you get through this, then you will know what work is and what success is. you must keep focused on the value you bring. you would not be there if you did not have value. fake it until you make it also means faking how you feel – not just faking what you know. if you can fake how you feel, then you can truly reach greater heights. you must not give up now – this is the challenge you have been waiting for. you must meet it and accept what it brings, you can do this. if you cannot do this, then you will lose control of your destiny.
a reason
every person that is put into your life is there for a reason. you have to look at life this way to keep your mind on track. you have to understand that a person is put there to test you, to challenge you, to push you to go further, to help make you evolve, to put you in uncomfortable situations, you make you try your best, to prove yourself, to force you to do what you wouldn’t normally do. you must think this way – there is a reason that person is suddenly in your life – whether at work or in a social environment – there is a reason and it is a good reason. if you think this way, then you will not get frustrated and you will begin to see what you can learn from this person being there – from this person who does or says things differently than you – a person that you instantly want to dislike because they bring out your insecurities – they test your usual confidence. it is up to you to find out why they are put there and what you need to learn. they might be the catalyst to make a big change or they might just be there to help you reach your greatest heights. think this way – that there is a reason and it is for your benefit – and you will make progress and you will not be frustrated. i know it is a big task to open your mind to this concept – and you will have to force yourself to think this way – but it is the only way to move forward. think about this – you are placed into their life to help them as well – every interaction has a mutual reason.
lower your voice
i need to stop raising my voice to my children. i need to stop yelling. i need to make a change once and for all and get a grip on my emotions – and not raise my voice. if i don’t get a grip and i keep raising my voice – it could have a lasting negative impact on my relationships with my children. i need to make the change – not them. i need to be the maturing adult and see what i have to do to make things better – and lowering my voice when speaking to them is one of those changes. it is difficult to make this change – but you must keep at it until you have mastered the art of lowering your voice. and if you do raise your voice, you need to apologize for doing so. 99% of your comments to others do not require you to raise your voice. start practicing lowering your voice – it can change a life.
thank you notes
i have an idea. think back across your life and think about all the people you have met – then think specifically about the people that made a difference in your life – that did something for you to make your life better – that did you a favor without expecting anything in return. you can narrow it down to the big events or milestones in your life. who helped you reached that milestone? who helped you do that event? who were the key people that helped shape who you are today. now sit down and write each of them a brief thank you note – just thanking them for the exact thing they did to help you. it doesn’t have to be a long letter – just a quick note. they will be pleasantly surprised and you will feel good that you let them know that you have not forgotten what they did and you never will. get those notes and do it now – before it is too late.
patience is a state of mind
we are told our whole life to be patient and we never really understand what this means – especially when we are young. but as we get older, a strange thing happens – we naturally become more patient. the obvious reason is because we slow down a bit and we have more time to reflect and think before we speak or act. this process yields a more patient demeanor. and once we start to observe our own patient demeanor, we start to see new things in life. we start to see how life plays out if we are not always trying to be involved in every act of the play. we see how things can benefit us by not being involved in every conversation and every event in our lives. from the smallest parts of a conversation to the active engagement of a larger scale event – if we use a patient mind, we can often reap greater results. but this patient mind does not come quickly – it comes when your mind is ready. it is like a small epiphany one day when you start to realize the significance of patience in our lives. if you can recognize this importance, then you can evolve sooner – to create greater results in your life. like anything, you need to learn how to use patience – how to balance it with the other states of mind – how to manage it in every occasion. patience can be a very powerful tool once the art of it is mastered. you have to feel this state of mind on your own – it is not easily explained. we risk losing ourselves in the details if we try to further explain how patience works – so this is the deepest i will go in this analysis. but start to think about patience more – that can also help spur the process of developing a patient state of mind.