there are many reasons why benedict arnold did what he did. but one of the key reasons was his need for money. he was tight for money, he had debt piling up, he could barely provide for his family, he was desperate and stressed out. he didn’t see a way out of his troubles – he only saw everything closing in around him. he started to think like a desperate man – looking to do anything to get back on his feet fast. he was not patient. he was not tolerant. he was not loyal. he was not faithful. he was not trustworthy. he was not stable. he was not steady. he was not logical. he was not reasonable. he turned against everything he believed to get out of trouble fast. and this is the key lesson that arnold provides to the rest of us. we hear of tragedy, desperation and failure every day. these are things that have become commonplace in our world. every minute of every day someone gives up. they see their world closing in around them, just like arnold did. they look frantically for a way out fast and they are willing to give up everything they have ever believed to get quickly out of their troubles. this is the arnold way of thinking. this is the wrong way of thinking. right now you could be facing troubles. right now you could believe that your world is closing around you. you want to give up or you want to do things that you are not supposed to do – to get out of these troubles. but you must never give up and you must always stay the course. you must be patient and you must be tolerant and you must be steady in your actions and you must be loyal to your principles. you must not throw it all away to find a quick fix. you will get out of these troubles only if you keep going and never give up. arnold made the wrong move and his lesson has served as a good reminder of what not do to. apply the arnold lesson to your life. things will get better if you only keep going and don’t give up.
Author: xangst
travel with kindness
when we travel, we meet many people – from the folks working at the airport to the person driving your cab to the bartender mixing you a drink to a server bringing your appetizer to a ranger working at a tourist stop. and if you treat each of these people with kindness and with the same respect you expect, then your trip will be a smoother, more pleasant, more rewarding, more enlightening experience. so when the doorman at your hotel opens the door for you, say “thank you, sir” – and when your travel guide finishes your 2 hour tour through the Sedona red rocks, say thank you and give him a tip – and if you have to valet your car or store your bags at the hotel, then say thank you and give them a tip. this is what you are supposed to do and this is how you are supposed to act. be thankful for the many people you come across in your travels and be kind to them in every way. they will treat you better and it just feels good to be kind to others. also, you will surprise them because they are not used to people being kind back to them.
sandbags
you need to keep putting the sandbags on the wall to keep the wall from breaking. this is what we do in life – we keep putting more and more sandbags on the wall. we must not let the wall break, we must find more sandbags, we must never give up on this one task. if we can’t find more sandbags and we can’t keep fortifying the wall – then the wall will crack and break and everything will come tumbling down upon us. this is the most dire of events that leads to the most drastic life changes – the loss of your house, the loss of your job, the loss of your family, the loss of your hope, the loss of a life – these are the things that happen when we stop putting sandbags on the wall of life. you must always search for sandbags – this search never stops until the day you die. if you keep searching and you keep trying, you will find those sandbags and you will help keep the wall intact. yes, cracks will appear in the wall – this is life. but, you must never let the wall collapse altogether. you must do what you have to do to keep the wall up and to keep the sandbags coming. a perfect wall does not exist – everyone must find sandbags to stop the cracks from getting bigger. whether it is a financial burden that is causing the cracks or an emotional burden – you must not stop what you are doing – you must tolerate the people and events around you to keep the sandbags coming – you must put up with things you want to give up on – you must tolerate being around people that you don’t want to be around. you must be calm and patient and tolerant – for the sake of keeping the wall together. you must do these things and you must learn to live through these things. that is why they say life is hard – because we all have to do things that we don’t want to do in order to keep the sandbags coming to keep each of our own walls from tumbling down.
everything but
riches. if you have everything but riches. if you have everything but wealth. if you have everything but financial security. if you have everything but you have debt. if you have everything but peace of mind. if you have everything but you have worries. if you have everything but you have doubt. if you have everything but you have an uncertain future. if you have everything but you have bills. if you have everything but not enough savings. if you have everything but not enough money for retirement. if you have everything but not enough money to move to a bigger house. if you have everything but not enough money for an expensive car. if you have everything but not enough money for name brand clothes. if you have everything but not enough money for elaborate trips. if you have everything but not enough money to stop working. if you have everything but not enough money to join a country club. if you have everything but not enough money to remodel your house. if you have everything but you always have to worry about money – then you have everything you will ever need and you are very lucky. if not getting rich is the worst thing that ever happens to you – then you struck the life lottery. congrats!
be calm
always. being calm is a state of mind. being calm is a way of life. being calm is one of the hardest things to master in life. one might never reach a state of complete calmness, but one should always strive to reach this state. even when you are striving you will practice being more calm. to remain calm under all circumstances is to allow the events play out in life they way they are meant to be played out. to remain calm is to admit that your destiny is already planned and that to remain anything but calm is a mistake that you must try to correct. you must be calm in the storms of life. no matter what goes on around you, no matter how hopeless things can seem, no matter if you appear to be going nowhere, no matter if you doubt what you are doing, no matter if you don’t understand why things are happening or not happening the way you thought they would happen – you must remain calm. you must think about this all the time so that it becomes second nature. you must keep moving and you must remain calm while you keep moving through life. to be calm on the inside will allow you to appear calm on the outside. others will approach you and they will try to upset your state of being calm. this will be the main challenge to your efforts to remain calm. you must then be as calm as you can ever wish to be. you must take things in stride and trust the bigger picture that is in motion. it is easy to remain calm when you are alone in a room. the hard part is to remain calm when others come into your orbit. if you can remain calm when challenged by others, then you can get closer to the state of complete calmness. practice being calm and be ready for the challenges to come – because they will come. your state of being calm determines your whole direction in life.
grouchy when older
no one knows what a person has gone through in life except that person. when you come across an older person and that person is grouchy you wonder why are they grouchy. you might know some things about that person and this will give you an idea of why they might be grouchy when they are older. this person is obviously unhappy and they have seen their life as not going the way they wanted or expected. they then become grouchy all of the time and it affects the people around them. but because they are older, you let most of it go. but it does start to put a lasting stain on all of the good memories you have had with that person over the years. you try to talk to them – to tell them to not worry so much and to enjoy the time they have left. but in reality you can’t convince them to be happy – there is no use in trying because their mind is already set into being sad, upset, worrisome and grouchy. they might be happy here and there but it is too late to change their mindset – it has been in the making for decades and has now come out to the world as grouchy. it is sad to see but you can’t really do anything about it except hold your tongue and try not to agitate them. you can also learn from them. this is a lesson to you – that if you are lucky to reach the ripe old age that they have reached remember to not be grouchy – to not diminish all the strong family relationships you have in place – and have worked so hard at over the years. don’t be that grouch. enjoy your loved ones and stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about only you all the time. think about the younger people in your family and be happy for them. stop being selfish and stop being grouchy. stop it right now before it is too late.
now and later
there are so many things in life that are obvious and so many things that are not obvious. one thing that is obvious and overstated is that we have to live in the moment- we have to live now and not live for what we want to happen in the future. this is because we are only capable of living now and we better live now because we don’t know when now will end – and not knowing when now will end only makes living in the now even more important. so with that understanding – I want to put one more layer on top. it is simply this – live in the now like there is no tomorrow, but still keep your dreams of the future alive – don’t let those hopes/wishes/ideas go – you need them to carry on anyway. only know that one day your future dreams may connect with the life you are living today. that connection could happen and then you could feel complete – you could feel fulfilled. or that connection might not happen, but you could still feel good about the life you have lived because you chose to live for the moment and not live for the future. so either way – whether you connect the present with the future or you do not – just live for today and the result will still be good.
don’t overthink it
you did it, you said it, you wrote it – this is what you thought at the time – it is done – it is over – you can’t change it – don’t overthink it. you don’t know how the other person will perceive it. you meant good. stop analyzing every word. stop going back in your mind over and over. should you change this, should you go back and say this, should you call them, should you re-write what you wrote – just stop. they are busy with their own lives and with their own problems. they actually didn’t think twice about what you said, wrote, did – they are too consumed in their own minds, in their own lives. they are not thinking about you – they are thinking about themselves. they are in their own world with their own things going on. they are walking down the street right now thinking about their life. they are not thinking about you walking down the street. they are not thinking where are you and what are you thinking. they are at the center of their world and you are at the center of your world. so don’t go back and rethink and overthink – don’t go back at all. just say it, write it, do it – and move on because no one is overthinking about what you said, did or wrote – except you. so don’t overthink it because it doesn’t matter.
quietness
nothing beats the quietness of night when the house starts to shut down for the evening – when the lights start to dim – when everyone starts to settle into their beds – when the dog is passed out on the floor. you walk around the house turning off the lights, putting on the dishwasher – feeling very peaceful about life – no worries at this time – you settle into your covers with your pillows fluffed – and you watch a few shows – and your mind drifts away from all the worries of tomorrow – when everything in your house is peaceful and you just see the glow of the appliances and the clocks in the kitchen. this is one of the best times of the day – the best times of life – you feel at ease – you feel comfortable in the quietness of the moment. life is ok for a moment. this is another one of life’s simple pleasures – these are the little things that matter – the only things that really matter.
not everyone
not everyone is going to like you. not everyone wants to be your friend. not everyone is going to talk to you. not everyone is going to smile at you. some will know right away that they don’t like you. all of this will mess with your mind. you will try to understand why someone doesn’t like you. you will try to talk to them. you will try to be their friend. but they don’t want to be your friend. this is life. this is how things go. this is reality. this is something you must understand and move on. you might struggle for years in your mind. it will cause you to lose sleep. it will cause you to stress out. you have to get past this. you have to understand that you don’t really want to be everyone’s friend. you don’t really have to be involved with every event. besides the fact that it is impossible to try and spend every moment of your life being friends with everyone you meet – it is not a healthy state of mind. it is not the way things are supposed to be. you are not supposed to be everyone’s friend. you are not supposed to like everyone. not everyone is supposed to like you. but you are supposed to grow up one day and live with this fact and realize that it is a good thing that not everyone likes you and wants to be your friend. be happy with the friends you have. be happy with the people that have chosen you to be their friend. stop looking at the other side, the other group – and look at what you have in front of you. be nice to people but move on. make this happen in your mind. work on this mindset.