after time, after you get older – there are some things you must stop fighting about. you must give in and stop unnecessary fighting with your spouse. your old self says keep fighting for your point. your old self keeps pushing you to talk about the budget and talk about what things cost. stop doing this. if you need something, buy it. there is no need to quote the budget as an excuse. just give in before the fight and buy it. you need it, buy it. stop useless fighting. just get in your car, drive and buy it. why fight about what you need. why go down a path of fighting over something you need to buy – something you need for the house or the family. it has to happen whether you fight about it or not. just give in and do it. believe it or not – this is evolving even though it feels like you are being broken down. you are not giving up – you are giving in to the inevitable – without all the fuss you used to go through. you have seen the light and it is a shorter path to happiness and less fighting. realize there is no use in fighting over certain things – just say it sounds good, give in and move on. this is another level of understanding yourself that you have reached. congrats, you found the path forward. give in and grow up.
Author: xangst
stop and look
go outside. go outside your office. go outside your house. go outside your school. go outside wherever you are and walk a little bit. then find a place where you can stop. go to a shady area if you can. when you stop, just look as far in the distance as you can. just stop, look and relax. just do this for a few minutes. you don’t have to think of anything at all. you just have to look into the distance. move around and look the other way. then look closer to where you are. then look down at your feet area. you might see an ant moving around. just do this. just stop and look and relax. then go back inside and go back to doing what you were doing before. you need to do this. you need to take a break here and there. you need to go outside and just look. this will help ease your mind from the day’s troubles. this will help calm your mind. you can sigh as well. it always helps to sigh. stop, look, sigh, – then back to reality. it will help you get through the day.
when you wake
when you wake in the middle of the night, there is a reason. the standard reasons are always there – worried, scared, troubled. but there is another reason for waking up in the night. it is a specific reason that you must find out. it is your job to find out why you awoke in the night. your mind is telling you to look for that reason. your mind is telling you to wake up and find that reason. it is ok to wake in the middle of the night because your mind needs you to wake up. there is something you must remember. there is something your must solve. there is something you must find out. your mind is helping you. don’t look at waking up in the night as a bad thing. waking up in the middle of the night is an opportunity presented to you by your brain. you now have the chance to find out something that will help you. next time you wake up in the middle of the night – let your mind run over your thoughts. just lean back and relax – let your mind run – and you will find out why your mind woke you up. you will then be happy that you found the answer. you can then go back to sleep. you can catch up on sleep another time. you can get through the next day with less sleep. it’s ok to wake up in the middle of the night. it is a blessing. it is a gift. it is an opportunity.
no back and forth
when you talk to someone, there must be a back and forth conversation. it cannot be a one sided conversation. you must ask questions and they must ask questions. you can’t keep “pulling teeth” forever in a relationship. it is ok to have pauses or silence when with others – that is healthy and normal – even signifying that your friendship has reached a new level of comfort. but that takes years to reach. if you have no back and forth conversation at the start of the initial interaction – then this person is not your best fit for friendship. there must be a natural flow in the early conversations. if there is not – then give it a few more tries – and if the same scenario – simply move on. life is way too short to stick around folks that don’t provide a back and forth conversation. you are not being rude, you are being honest. it is good for them and it is good for you.
nothing you can do
you know how things happen all the time. these are things that come up and cause you worry, trouble, money, fixing, cleaning, etc. and you know how they never really go away. you might get a pause here and there. but then bam! down goes the fridge. time to buy new clothes. you need that new car. sprinklers broken. get your nails done. buy those school photos. need a family trip. the AC just went out. you got stuck with extra tixs to a game. time to pay for braces. all that money going to college savings. the water bill jumped up. new tires for safety. you went over your monthly data plan. halloween costumes. spring break coming up. buy that gift for another bday party. the unexpected wedding invite – write that check for the new couple. you have always fretted about all of these things that never seem to end. but then one day you realize that they never will end until your final day here. so what is the point of getting upset. just accept it – now that you realize it – and your life will be easier. you will lose less sleep. there is nothing you can do, so relax and accept this fact. clear your mind for other things.
unbroken spirit
it is strange when you realize that your spirit is being broken – by another person, relationship, job, etc. it is a strange feeling when you cannot express your thoughts, ideas, feelings anymore. they are not needed, they are discarded, they are ignored – so you feel the spirit breaking and you just close your mouth and accept what is going on around you. you still go through the motions and you still do what is expected – but you also realize that the spirit is in the process of being broken. if you have to stay in the current spirit-breaking situation – you have 2 choices – let the spirit break and become a different person or don’t let the spirit break, but quietly adapt to the situation. you have to be strong to fight against the spirit breaking process. but you can do it. the 1st step is to realize that this process is happening. when you realize, you can then control yourself. you need to stay in this situation for now – you know that. if you don’t – simple – get out. but let’s assume you need to stay for now. so, realize what is going on, then start to protect the spirit – keep it tucked away – back in your mind and soul. you then need to function without the spirit – almost like a robot. do what you are supposed to do – take all emotion out – go day by day – and relax when away from the situation – be yourself so that you don’t change. but when in the situation, be the robot, be the person that is required to keep things going. the last thing to do is think about how to get out of the situation when you are ready. stay in it as long as you need to – then prepare to get out. you must get out in the end – otherwise no sense in protecting the spirit. you are protecting the spirit so that you can set it free again – to be yourself again 100%. this is not new – people have to do this all the time. so do it and keep your unbroken spirit safe.
the beat down
we have all been beaten down by someone at some point in our lives. this is not a physical beat down, but a mental, emotional beat down. to be beaten down is to harass, subdue, or crush the spirit of – as defined in the dictionary. these defined words are quite accurate. people can crush your spirit, they can harass you, they can subdue you – they can make you not care as much as you normally would about a relationship, a task or a job. we have all felt this way on the job. your opinion doesn’t matter – just do what we say and we will crush your spirit in the meantime. keep doing your job, but do it better because what you are doing is not enough. why do we continue to take this beat down – because we need the money, we need the job, we are too lazy to look for another job, we think things will get better, we think the company will hit the big time one day and we will all benefit – but we just have to endure the beat down to get there. many could not do what you do. they would have walked out on day 2. but you can take the beat down. you have learned to accept it because you have another life outside of work and that life keeps you going – it keeps you happy – but the beat down can occasionally spill into your happy life, causing some problems – but not enough to affect it too much – not enough to quit. you actually like what you are doing at work – but you must endure the beat down to stay there. sometimes you want to quit – sometimes they want to fire you – but it doesn’t happen and you keep going – day after day, week after week, month after month – and then year after year. you get used to it – they get used to you. it becomes normal – but it is not normal. you do learn how to cope better – you do learn how to be patient – you do learn how to be calm. that is all good – but don’t let the beat down break your spirit – it can crush it but not break it. you need to get through at the end – stronger, wiser – and with the same zest for life. you will endure the beat down as long as you are supposed to endure it – and not one day longer. all results will be good because the next phase won’t have the beat down. this is your time to endure the beat down – so suck it up, evolve, and move on.
no certainty
there is no certainty that you will be alive tomorrow. we all know this, but we don’t think about this concept all the time. we don’t dwell on the fact that we will all die at some point in the future. and why would you dwell on this. you wouldn’t and you shouldn’t. but we are reminded on a regular basis that people die all of the time. and as we grow older and as we know more people directly or indirectly – we will know more and more people who will die. we wake up some days and are slapped in the face with another death of someone we know. it is especially a shock if that person is younger. if that person is a child or teenager or even in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s – it is a grave shock that we can barely comprehend. we don’t know why this would happen or how it could happen – but it happens and it will never stop happening. you might go awhile between deaths, but they will eventually come again. all we can do is pray for the family affected and pray that it will not happen to your family. but we ultimately have no control over when it will happen. this is why we have to live for now. we have to look long and hard at our loved ones. we have to take it all in. we have to try and pause the present. we have to let things go. we have to forgive. we have to stop fighting. we have to enjoy each other. we have to do this and we have to do that. we have to just be. we have to move on and move forward. we have to stop analyzing everything. we have to be thankful for what we have and not be jealous of what others have. we have to be comfortable in our own skin. stop thinking so much and just live. another death will come and you must think about living your life now – because one day someone will hear about your death. live for what you have now. that is all you have or will ever have. now.
don’t react
you will come across many people in your life. some will do things that you don’t agree with. some will do things to show that they don’t like you. don’t try to understand why people don’t like you. don’t react to things that they do. this is their problem, not your problem. you want to say something to them. you want to understand why they don’t like you. you want to know what you did to them. you want to clear things up. for close friends – go clear it up. but for acquaintances, don’t bother. they are an acquaintance for a reason. the immediate click or connection is not there yet or might not ever be there. you have noticed that they are moving away from you. could be something you did or said. could be their first impression of you or their recent impression of you. regardless – no need to react to them. it is better not to say anything. you have now learned that they are not right for you. be a very casual acquaintance to them when you come in contact, as sometimes contact cannot be prevented. so be casual and don’t react. be happy that you now know which way things are going. keep your info inside and don’t react.
do these things
you don’t want to do something but you must. you are asked to do these things for a reason. these are challenges put in your way to overcome – it is as simple as that. whether it is a social occasion or a work event – you must go ahead and do these things. it is your destiny to do these things. your destiny knows what you must do to grow. you might be hesitant and start to reject the notion of doing this thing. but you are meant to do this thing, to go to this event, to meet these people – so that you can evolve, expand, grow. it is easy to say no. it is easy to stay away. it is easy to stay home. it is easy to be comfortable. you must not always take the easy choice. you must go ahead and do this thing. it is because you do not want to do this thing, that this thing was put in your way to do. that is the logic of life. you don’t want to do it, so life makes you do it. this fact is inevitable. the only thing you have to decide is that you will do it. so when you don’t want to do something – you will soon be faced with the opportunity to do this thing. you will then need to choose to do this thing. and when you choose to do this thing, go to this event, meet these people – you will then evolve.