August 2024 – xangst

recognize when you have gone too far with the “i don’t care” mindset

this is an important one because it can affect your life in a negative way

here is how it goes –

you finally say to yourself – “i don’t care”

i don’t care about what others think, i don’t care about what others say, i don’t care if we are not friends anymore, i don’t care if i don’t see you again, i don’t care, i don’t care

don’t get me wrong – it is a great mindset to free yourself from all this negative worrisome shit that has plagued you for so many years – not a debilitating plague – but just one that has always been there screwing with you

so yes – please say “i don’t care” BUT don’t take it too far

what happens sometimes with the “i don’t care” mindset is that you go too far and you starting arguing more with good people, you start causing issues with good people because you don’t care – you say – screw them – i don’t care – i am right, they are wrong – and this leads to conflict.

so – realize this is happening like i just did today and take a step back.

take a pause, take a chill pill, hold your gunpowder, think about meditating, make a change in your life to avoid conflict – this goes back to – know your audience – and just pulling back on the “i don’t care” mindset a bit.

don’t drop friends with different opinions

in today’s post covid world where there is disagreement and division everywhere – you need to stay the course with your original mindset. this is the mindset that you had back in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc – you were less cynical and more chill.

i do agree that as we get older, we need to not care that much anymore about other people – what they think, what they say, etc.

but, as we turn people off that give us negative vibes so that we can focus on the last remaining years without all the BS and static – we must not go too far as to alienate the good people – the ones that you do like but where you might have a different opinion about things like politics, etc.

if a person is a true friend, you should not care what political or religious views they have. keep that stuff out of the conversations and focus on the friendship.

if you do judge a true friend on their political or religious views, then you are wrong.

know your audience to avoid conflict

a quick fix to reduce arguments with people is to think about who your audience is before you say something that might cause an issue. you won’t be able to predict every time what will set people off but if you know the person fairly well, you can set some preset parameters before you open your mouth

the crazy thing is that i just discovered this viewpoint because i have been arguing with people lately where i thought there could be no conflicts.

the reality is that everyone thinks in different ways about different things – and i am not talking about fiery topics like politics – i am talking about everyday normal things

if the person is a true friend and you don’t want to lose the friendship – then pause slightly before you engage and don’t drop in topics that could set them off. i am not saying handle people with kid gloves -just monitor your conversations more to create less drama, issues, etc

see things with fresh eyes

to appreciate what we have in life, we must look at things with fresh eyes once in awhile. we always think about how our life can be better – how we can have better things – a better house, a better car, a better neighborhood, etc.

we don’t realize that we already have many of those things.

as time goes on, the things you have lose their luster and you get used to seeing those things every day -so you start to think – why can’t i have something else – something that is better than what i have right now. but in reality – we already have these things

how can you tell? – try the fresh eyes trick. when you drive into your neighborhood, pretend like you have never been there before. look at the streets, houses and trees like it is the first time you are looking at them. do this when you drive up to your home – look at it like it is the first time that you have seen this home. look at these things from a new objective perspective.

you will be shocked! you will say – wow, look at this neighborhood – look at this house – just like you did when you really did see them for the first time.

you will then see how lucky you are already. stop wanting for things that you already have – be grateful.