Month: April 2013

when i see older people doing very chill activities, like golfing or walking in the middle of the day, i first think why have they stopped pursuing new goals, why are they content not driving themselves to reach higher heights anymore? i don’t get it because i can’t possibly fathom stopping the pursuit of success at every turn.  how can one stop everything and stare at the sea for hours.  how can one wake up early, eat dinner early and go to bed early?  how can one not talk all the time and not drive fast to get to their destination sooner?  how can one not be on the phone all the time and stop going at a frantic pace from one event to the next?  but then 1 day, when i am frantic in my mid 40s, it all comes to me.  they don’t do all this stuff anymore because they don’t have to.  life has slowed down, kids have grown up, keeping up with the jones’ doesn’t matter anymore, caring what others think doesn’t matter anymore.  they have been there, done that.  no need to stress over these trivial things, no need to rush anymore.  the only care is living the last years the best that you can.  you rushed around like a chicken with your head cut off for 20, 30 years –you are tired, you are done with that, you can now stare at the sea and not feel like you are missing anything, because you are not missing anything.  you didn’t want to miss any party at 20, you didn’t want to miss any event at 40, and you didn’t care what you missed at 60.  I get it.

looking back is an interesting hobby –one that develops more and more as the years go by.  you can start to analyze the different phases of your life by looking back.  you can see that the early years up until 18 are like watching an old movie in your mind.  you see yourself playing sports, meeting friends, having birthday parties, going to school, being mean to others, being nice to others, fighting with your parents in the teen years –but mostly having fun with the only stress being school and social settings.  then by the 20’s, your life is full of so many events –mostly good times that now seem so long ago and you wonder wow –things seemed to move slow then but now they seem to have happened in a flash.  you wonder where the 20’s went and why you did not relish the moment more.  the 30’s are also filled with so many events –but you do start to become more aware of your life –where it has been, where it is going, how will you end up, what have you done, what can you still do.  you do take in the moment more –but still gone in a flash when you look back on it.  by the 40s, the stress starts to build –stress about kids, work, not enough time to complete all your goals.  you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and having your fears fighting to keep you awake.  it is truly a challenging time period where you start to question everything you have done –has it been good enough.  i can see how a mid-life crisis can develop if you let your fears get the best of you.  you have to fight more than ever to keep your grip on life.  get through this time period and more glory will come after.  it is so hard for the human mind to get a grip on this whole life thing –to try and grab hold of one brief moment is difficult to do.  we can only think this deeply on the subject very briefly –otherwise it will consume you and affect your actions in life.  you need to keep on track, keep doing what you are doing –enjoying every moment the best you can –and knowing that some things you cannot control –like life and time seeming to move so fast when you look back on life.  it is ok to acknowledge these ideas –but just continue to live the best way you can –without losing your grip too much.