death is strange. it depends on many factors on how you react to hearing of a death. if it is a death in the family, you can have immediate, uncontrollable crying –but the immediate part usually depends on the closeness to this family member. your mind tells you that this is major and it could affect your own life. you starting thinking of what you miss and all the things you used to do. you think about the warm touch you experienced –hugs, kisses –and how those will be gone. you think about conversations and good times. you think about the future and the wider uncertainty that has surfaced now. this will take time to overcome, but you do need to tend to the living and this will help move you forward. you think about your own mortality. yet–when it is a co-worker or acquaintance –one that you do not see every day or might not have seen in a few years –the reaction is different. you think more about “why” did this happen. you think more about the suffering of the family left behind. you do think about the good times that you shared and you do feel very sad. but you do not cry most of the time. you do think about your own fate a bit more. you do think about living for the moment. you do think that anything can happen at any time. you do understand that as your life goes own, others will die –but you don’t think about this fact until the next person passes. we can’t fully understand death and our reaction to it. this is a primal experience –one that beckons from our inner soul. but in the end, every thought we make clings to our own self-preservation. death is coming, so live for the moment, but plan for the future.
