why can’t we ever escape the social pressures of life. from youth to old age – social pressures exist. they don’t change and they don’t go away. there is always a constant reminder of social standing, social groups, social inclusion, social exclusion, social ups, social downs – everywhere we go and everywhere we look – social pressures are occurring. you can’t escape these things – good or bad – unless you become a hermit and leave the social scene. other than that – you have to clear your mind, you have to not let these trivial things affect you. yes, you still need to be social but you can move past any grief that social pressures cause. this is a battle in your mind. you have to convince yourself that these things don’t matter in the grand scheme of life. you have to be happy with the choices you make. you have to understand that if you have less desire to be social, then less social activity will come your way – and vice versa. also, if you decide to stand against social pressure, then keep that stance – don’t back track or waiver. life is about choices and choosing which choices are most important to keep your life going the way you want it to go. if you have to spend more time working, if you want to spend more time with your family, if you don’t feel like doing the extra work to gain new friends – then do all of these things to make the life you want to live. forget about what others are doing, forget about what others are saying – these things do not matter at all. what matters is living with your mind free of these trivial issues – which are not even issues at all – they are roadblocks put up in your own mind – preying on your own insecurities – making you feel bad – about really nothing at all.
Category: Insecurity
calm waters
your mind is always racing. you always overthink things. you wake up in the night stressing. you can’t even make simple decisions sometimes. life starts to push down on you. you don’t know what is the right decision or what is the wrong decision. you see people rising up – you see groups gathering. you allow peer pressure to still affect you – even years after high school. those dynamics are always there – it is you that has to evolve out of that cycle. you have to know that only family and a few friends matter. if you are happy with that – then stop taking your mind down the insecure path. until you reach the next level of existence – where you know what is important and what is not – you will still have these internal struggles. while you still go through these struggles – work them all out in your mind and with your loved ones – then go into the world with a calm facade. the truth is – everyone has to work to be calm in society – to just let things roll naturally. keep calm on the outside – and the turmoil on the inside will eventually fade. the rolling internal seas will merge with the calm waters that you keep pushing out to the world – an even flow will emerge for the finals stages of life.
don’t say 90%
don’t say 90% of what you are thinking. thoughts come into your mind every second. do this, do that, say this, say that. you think so much that you have to learn not to blurt out your thoughts while you are eating – don’t talk with your mouth full. you want to say something as soon as it comes into our mind so that you don’t forget what you just thought. you even pause the tv to say something – knowing that it will be gone if you continue to watch. you want to get your point across. you want to talk all the time. and most of us do talk all the time. but at some point, you have to stop talking all the time. as you get older, you just get tired of talking all the time. this helps you stop talking all the time – getting older. in fact, you must try to not say 90% of what you are thinking. most of what you are thinking can be a negative against other people. you do think positive thoughts as well, but we all think negative thoughts almost as much. it is because you are used to a certain way, a certain person, a certain look, a certain everything. so when you see something outside of your norm – you automatically go to the negative – why do they look like that, why do they talk like that, who do they think they are, etc. it could even be when interacting with a loved one – you want to voice your opinion, but sometimes it can be a cruel opinion. so stop before you speak and screen out 90% of what you about to say to someone. this is evolving, this is growing wiser, this is how you stay ahead in life. you might even listen more and you might show real interest in what other people have to say.
close your mouth sometimes
why do you continue to open your mouth in social settings and say stupid things. this is a problem that we all face. things just come out when in conversation and then you later think – why did i say that. you might talk trash about another person or say something that will upset the person you are talking to. you need to learn to keep your mouth closed and not say everything you are thinking. i get it – you want to keep the conversation going. you want to keep the conversation interesting – so you fill it up with things best left unsaid. foot in mouth over and over. it is very hard to learn how not to put your foot in your mouth. but in casual conversation, just tow the line – take the high road – keep it clean – tell yourself over and over – don’t talk trash, don’t say what will hurt others, don’t gossip. you need to constantly remind yourself – don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it. you will feel better and you will be a better person. this is one of the fundamental things in life that we all deal with – but others will start to evolve and will learn not to open their mouth all the time. on the other hand – don’t be a staring mute with an air of superiority – that is actually worse. so stay in the middle and learn to close your mouth sometimes. do it, do it, do it!
don’t react
you will come across many people in your life. some will do things that you don’t agree with. some will do things to show that they don’t like you. don’t try to understand why people don’t like you. don’t react to things that they do. this is their problem, not your problem. you want to say something to them. you want to understand why they don’t like you. you want to know what you did to them. you want to clear things up. for close friends – go clear it up. but for acquaintances, don’t bother. they are an acquaintance for a reason. the immediate click or connection is not there yet or might not ever be there. you have noticed that they are moving away from you. could be something you did or said. could be their first impression of you or their recent impression of you. regardless – no need to react to them. it is better not to say anything. you have now learned that they are not right for you. be a very casual acquaintance to them when you come in contact, as sometimes contact cannot be prevented. so be casual and don’t react. be happy that you now know which way things are going. keep your info inside and don’t react.
do these things
you don’t want to do something but you must. you are asked to do these things for a reason. these are challenges put in your way to overcome – it is as simple as that. whether it is a social occasion or a work event – you must go ahead and do these things. it is your destiny to do these things. your destiny knows what you must do to grow. you might be hesitant and start to reject the notion of doing this thing. but you are meant to do this thing, to go to this event, to meet these people – so that you can evolve, expand, grow. it is easy to say no. it is easy to stay away. it is easy to stay home. it is easy to be comfortable. you must not always take the easy choice. you must go ahead and do this thing. it is because you do not want to do this thing, that this thing was put in your way to do. that is the logic of life. you don’t want to do it, so life makes you do it. this fact is inevitable. the only thing you have to decide is that you will do it. so when you don’t want to do something – you will soon be faced with the opportunity to do this thing. you will then need to choose to do this thing. and when you choose to do this thing, go to this event, meet these people – you will then evolve.
not everyone
not everyone is going to like you. not everyone wants to be your friend. not everyone is going to talk to you. not everyone is going to smile at you. some will know right away that they don’t like you. all of this will mess with your mind. you will try to understand why someone doesn’t like you. you will try to talk to them. you will try to be their friend. but they don’t want to be your friend. this is life. this is how things go. this is reality. this is something you must understand and move on. you might struggle for years in your mind. it will cause you to lose sleep. it will cause you to stress out. you have to get past this. you have to understand that you don’t really want to be everyone’s friend. you don’t really have to be involved with every event. besides the fact that it is impossible to try and spend every moment of your life being friends with everyone you meet – it is not a healthy state of mind. it is not the way things are supposed to be. you are not supposed to be everyone’s friend. you are not supposed to like everyone. not everyone is supposed to like you. but you are supposed to grow up one day and live with this fact and realize that it is a good thing that not everyone likes you and wants to be your friend. be happy with the friends you have. be happy with the people that have chosen you to be their friend. stop looking at the other side, the other group – and look at what you have in front of you. be nice to people but move on. make this happen in your mind. work on this mindset.
overwhelmed
as you get older, life moves faster. and as life moves faster, more pressures build upon your shoulders. this will inevitably cause you to feel overwhelmed. this is natural – it happens to every single person in this world and most people go through their entire lives feeling this way at some level or another. however, you do not need to feel this way at all. but it will take a conscious decision in your mind not to feel this way. you must understand that you have a destiny in this life -we all do. you must understand that you will fulfill this destiny if you keep moving yourself forward at all times. don’t give up and just keep moving forward –and you will continue down your path of individual destiny. and because you know that you have a destiny to fulfill if you stay on your path, then you don’t need to worry about being overwhelmed. just tell yourself that you need to be calm -that there is no sense in feeling overwhelmed -that you are on a path of destiny -so feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make any difference. it is pointless to feel overwhelmed when you look at life this way. you have a destiny and these feelings do not change that destiny. take a breath when you feel overwhelmed and understand that these feelings have no bearing on your life or your destiny.
don’t fear the future
know that you can handle whatever the future has in store for you. know that you have had down times in your life before and that you have recovered from them. know that because of this, you will be able to handle problems in the future. know that because you have pushed through uncertainty in the past –that this will help you push through uncertainty in the future. and because of all of this, you do not have to fear the future. you do not have to waste the present worrying about the future–because you will push through. this should allow you to enjoy the moment more and feel good about what you are doing today –and feel good about where you are in your life at the moment. it is a good moment because you don’t have to worry, you just have to live. your mind will always push you to fear –but you must fight against it and move towards the positive. an easy way to do this, is to look around and see what good you have in your life –and be grateful. remember, you handled the past and you can handle the future the same way. embrace the future and embrace change.